The House Strikes Again!

The house of major evil proposed giving me a stroke that would destroy all my major brain functions, but the house of minor evil instead suggested that all my attempts to blog be not recorded because Google Chrome had an Oh, Snap! moment (i.e. "crash") and of course, the minor house won.

I'll make this quick, as I just rented "Taken" and Liam Neeson may hurt me if I don't get to watching him. Today I learned how to bike commute successfully and how to transport mega stuff on my bike. I thought long and hard about what bike to get; in my heart I really wanted a road bike again, because they feel like a natural extension of my body. However, after driving around Corvallis for a while, I realized that this would be a bad choice. The roads here get a lot of rain damage and although it is a very biker friendly town, I am not sure I am confident enough in my "riding WITH traffic" skills to really bike it like that. Road bikes are fast and efficient, but very hard to get going from a stop because you have to fix your balance. If you are carrying a load that would be hard, especially on rough streets.

So I opted for a hybrid/mountain. It's not a hardcore BMX bike but it certainly could handle dirt and trails, and I've been tweaking it a little to actually do the opposite; I'm tightening it up to get a little more horizontal vector and a little less vertical. I've equipped it with a nice seat rack to carry stuff, and today I successfully travelled about 10 miles (6 of which were in the rain) with a full rack of produce, water, plunger, etc.

I have learned an important lesson about rain-- I need to buy some undershirts or something. It really chills you to the core when it's on your jacket and you are making a headwind on the bike. When I'm not riding, its fine, but the wind is cold. Although over all I think it feels very eco-friendly to bike-- I am really loving the idea of doing most of my major travels within the city that way-- it seems "right" or something. I mean, it's not for everyone, but it seems like a little way to do my "part" or whatever that is.

Anyhow. Enough about me. It's time for an evening with Liam....

Oh, in other news: I actually cooked something (what?!?) Yes, I got a slow cooker for $9.00 in CA and I proceeded to put cabbage and tomatoes and ACV into it. Yep. 7 hours later I had real German KRAUT of my own. The legit kind. Okay, so maybe the cooker cooked it. BUT I CHOPPED THE CABBAGE.

Hello Oregon

Yesterday I entered Corvallis, OR. As expected, it is 45 degrees and rainy here. Which will be really nice-- when I figure out what to do about a small problem with my apartment--it has no shower curtain rod. Hmmm.

16 miles of rain in the enchanted PNW

I woke up early because I could tell it was going to rain. I guess I haven't lost "my touch" yet for sensing rain, as I hear will happen to me as I stay in the west, or maybe it's just that rain follows me around, so I sense it always. I don't know. In any case, there my diurnal clock went at 6 am whispering... "it's going to rain... go outside... it's going to rain."

Who can turn down a slightly rainy morning at fifty degrees? I thought for a moment of my days plans: not much, other than to try to do the Jackson Mountain trail at Muir Woods. Damn good plans, eh? It seemed only fitting that I might as well get an early run in at Mt. Tamalpais State Park, as well. I've been itching to run there since the last time I was here. I grabbed a gas station coffee, some gas, and a bagel and meandered up Hwy 101 to Muir Woods. It was a good day at Muir Woods at 7:15 am. No one was there. I put on my Sauconys and my Arcteryx and let the rain come down on me as I hopped, ran, and jumped over rich mollisols. In the distance, there were a few houses, painted in dull sea colors with white siding. Past that, the pacific ocean, barely visible through the fog. Deers played around as I ran, not at all afraid that I was about to mow them down. I'm not sure when I'm going to get used to that-- Pacific deer, ever time I have seen them, are fearless. Not harmful, just fearless. I guess that's how deer are supposed to be?

I thought as I ran, I think maybe at some point I'm supposed to feel homesick. I kept trying to will it on myself. "You're never going back," I thought. "You're never going back to that place." It didn't seem to work. All I could think of was the last chapter of Narnia. The story is something that the four kids (main characters) have just fought this epic battle in Narnia that they were called from our world to fight. The battle is over but only thanks to Aslan, who has brought them to this new world. The new world is really awesome-- they can run up waterfalls, ride the talking horses, eat the fruit from the floating gardens, etc. So they're just enjoying this new world to the nines and then they see Aslan just hanging around. They get kind of upset, right, because every time Aslan appears it seems like they are going to be sent back to our world (which they call "the Shadowlands") So one of them asks Aslan something like "I guess this is it and we're going back to our world now?" And Aslan replies that there has been a train wreck and in fact they are now permanently in this new world, where they will be and be happy forever.

Actually, looking online, he says, "The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is

ended: this is the morning." Then it goes on to give the paragraph that used to fill my eight year old body with some kind of hopeful tremble (and it still does, admittedly):

"And as He spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion... All their life in this world and all the adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

That is what I felt on the mountain. Maybe there is supposed to be some kind of longing, but how could I miss anything when I'm running through the coastal mountains in the middle of a PNW rain- "storm"-- it's far too beautiful.

You are probably wondering where the other seven or so miles comes in. I did make it to Muir Woods, and although part of the Jackson Mountain trail was closed, I knocked back most of the Salmon and Hillside trails in a few hours and got to be amongst the redwoods. When I was a kid I had a CD called "cloud forests." It was just a CD of rain and bird noises. I remember trying to imagine what it was like in the cloud forests-- I was in one today-- the answer is that it is magical. I could barely stand to go inside my car to head back through the city for some navigation practice, except that I was kind of hungry again and I dreamed of having a giant bowl of kiddie cereal with some berries in it. And it was good. Sixteen miles and blueberry toast crunch mixed with mixed cheerios and pineapples and soymilk was downright stellar.

I keep thinking I'm going to get up tomorrow and have to go to the airport and fly back to the southeast. I'm almost scared when I get up that being here forever is too good to be true. I know it sounds stupid, but whatever. It's kind of like learning to see a new color or something. You know, you can't really describe it because your only context is the other colors, but it's definitely there, and great, and you never knew it was coming, but now that you can see it, the world looks completely different.

Right on. So much lameness above... but so much truth.

A short but epic post

I haven' t posted in a while during the last few days of adventures. Obviously there have been many adventures to be had in Denver ( :) ), the I-70, SD random trip, and in Utah, which could take a while to detail, so instead I will really tell the most awesome of the awesome stories, which is also known as THE ADVENTURE TO THE HOUSE OF EVIL.

(right, I know, you say, but you are supposed to be on a "honeymoon" of sorts enjoying all of life's pleasantries, to which I say, well, when you've got a husband who also shares a love of awesome adventures, you find yourself able to tell tales about the HOUSE OF EVIL without batting an eye to the complete irony of the story. Or perhaps batting an eye and then making an ironic note of it. In any case, I will say that I am lucky and undeserving but extremely joyful and grateful.)

So there we were, in Denver again, looking for the great bastion of road travellers-- free showers and laundry. It is a legend long told in the world of travel that there are places with free showers and laundry facilities, but it is truely a myth, just like Man-Bear-Pig and the Sasquatch and getting an accurate prediction from weather.com. Therefore, we instead found "relatively cheap showers" and "relatively cheap wash" in a great State Park (the oldest in the state, actually) in Denver called Cherry Creek Park. The park was expansive and glorious, with lots of roads for running and many laundry machines, and a place to remember that having an afternoon of sun and yoga is sometimes just as good as an epic adventure. Having relaxed "to the max" we headed westward on the I-70 through the Rocky Mountain Pass.

It is a fact that most interstates are terribly boring at some point or another and I-70 may not be a great exception, but the Rocky Mountain Pass is outstandingly interesting. Imagine riding a roller coaster through heaven with the best companion you can imagine and you may be getting 1/10th of the way close to what I-70 in the Rocky Mountain Pass felt like. It is absolutely surreal. It goes up and up to over 11000 feet high, and you actually lose your sense of "flat." Were it not for the tachometer, I would have presumed that the pass had many up and downs, but in fact, it appears to be mostly "one big up" with "one big down" at the end. And it is mostly an "up." In fact, here in Utah, we are still about 5500 feet high, meaning that we have not fully descended, albeit the temperature is hotter.

As the sun set we drove through the mountain towns I've always wanted to visit-- Vail, Breckenridge, Aspen-- I felt my strength returning. The mountains fulfill me, I guess. I don't guess, actually, I know. Mountains. They're something else. Breckenridge had a huge lake in front of it, and the town was nestled in a mini-valley. Ski lifts climbed the slopes of the mountains, empty in the evenings, but still warm and lively. It was cold, maybe 38 degrees or so, but it felt really warm and nestling.

When the sun was down the pass got more treacherous, and it was time to stop for the night. My tremendous ability to sleep means that when it's night time, I pass out faster than I can control, and so we looked on the map and found the Sylvan Lakes State Park. Actually, I lie. I found the Sylvan Lakes State Park and take full responsibility for its failure to be awesome. It appeared to be right next to a town of Evil... I mean, Eagle.

Eagle is also known as Traffic Circle Capital of the World, and as G drove (I will not take credit for driving the awesome mountain pass-- I would have definitely inched through it at 25 mph scared to death I'd run into a cliff), we continued to encounter Traffic Circles. Sometimes they were even interconnected Traffic Circles! Finally we came to a sign for Sylvan Lakes State Park, and drove down a nice "flat" road past farms. After 10 miles, the flat road dead ended into a gravel/dirt FS road. A sign indicated a campsite up ahead, so we continued to drive. Every so often, we passed a fairly ominous looking "viewpoint" with a name like "BEAR EATS YOUR FACE GULLY" or "BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS MEADOW OF PLEASANTRY" <-- scary, I know! Along the side of the road were white birches-- first of all, why are white birches in Colorado? They are a New England species. Second, white birches looks-- well, awful. They had no leaves, and they appeared to be bones growing right out of the ground. It was a bone forest in the dark.

As we drove, I grew scared. I remembered stories of bears that I was told in Wilderness Safety prior to Clemson, and all I could think was, surely something is going to get us tonight. Yes, I am a wuss. I complained more than necessary about this, mostly trying to vent the fear from my heart, my OCD needing great reassurance that yes, in fact, no bears would be having us for dinner tonight. Deep in the woods, we encounted no campsites, only many SUVs high-tailing it out of the woods as fast as possible. Finally, we turned around and headed back to an open area near the front of the woods. We noted that we had climbed up in altitude a long way. How much climb? Too bad GPS didn't want to work out there. Must have been that place. We came to the open space. "Pleasant Meadows," it said.

I looked up above my feet on the dash. They were crowned in Goretex Salomons. I let out a rather unpleasant exclamation. In front of us was a house... but it was not just any house. It was a house of EVIL. I will try to describe it without touching on the aura of terribleness it gave off. It was a brick house with a half-way collapsed tin roof. The windows were boarded up and the house was fenced off. "NO TRESPASSING" signs were tacked on its walls. To it's side lawn was a smaller, yellow-green shack. It was also fenced off and boarded up in the same way. White birch, China-berry, and sawoat grass grew all around it. G concurred that this was in fact the scariest house known to all of mankind. We quickly hauled out of there, trying to laugh off the terror that was the HOUSE OF EVIL (and it's friendly shack, the HOUSE OF MINOR EVILS). Yes, it was indeed a haunted place if you believe in such a thing. I think I don't, but if I were to, that was it. You could write a movie about that place. And it would be scary. M. Night Shalaman would probably be scared.

Needless to say, we're safe in Utah now, at a coffee shop, with sore joints and happy stomaches. Yesterday we went to an epic steak house. My joy at bread eating was realized as I ate probably some of the most excellent prarie breads ever.

I am tired. I am not usually tired, but I also don't usually move all the way across the country and get married. So it's really the best kind of tired, the kind that you feel on an overcast day at four in the afternoon, when you put on some quiet music and think about how heavy the sky feels. I must say so far this is probably the most epic trip of all the trips I have taken.

At some point during this trip I thought of a minor epiphany. There were many epic views to be had and it occurred to me that as I look at an epic view I can't really capture it all in a picture, or in words, or even in my mind, but if I focus on one part, I can kind of grab that part and describe the rest in context. I think that's how really awesome things work-- you can't possibly describe their grandeur in a little way with words, instead, you find and enjoy little bits of them at a time, using that little bit as a metonymy for the whole. I realized also that this reflection extends to people-- and suffice my corniness to say that I believe that a certain fellow travelling companion of mine reminds me of a very awesome view-- and that I believe I have many metonymical and enjoyable experiences to come. It's cool to think about travelling around the whole world and being able to bring your home and what you care about with you. I am not sure I can really understand it well enough yet, but it's sort of like the end of a really great movie, when the hero rides off into the sunset, but maybe in this case, the hero isn't riding alone.

Okay, well, enough of the "corn" for now. After all I am out of Nebraska. Finally! :)

May I also note that it's raining in the desert. Now that's cool.

Far to the west of Big Loins, Arkansas

West of Junction City, Kansas was blank. Ahead, there was a thin greenish-brown strip of prairie, and occasionally a low hill, but everywhere else there was sky.

Sparky had said she expected the plains to be boring. The plains are boring, but it's not the endless green and brown grasses that make the high prairie beautiful; it's the sky. Growing up in the Southeast, surrounded by glass and steel in the cities, and a sea of tall, dense trees in the country, I never saw this kind of sky. I remember I'd see descriptions of places like Montana and West Texas as "big sky country," and I don't think I really got what that meant. The sky encompasses everything in the western plains -- there's no trees or tall buildings to shrink it, and as you drive west, the horizon recedes farther and farther away, until you think you can see forever, across the dwindling barren line in front of you...

"Well," I said, as the Suzuki barreled up and to the west, "it's a hell of a lot better than Big Loins, Arkansas."

Sparky rolled her eyes. "Osceola."

"What?"

"The hotel we stayed at was in Osceola, Arkansas."

"Oh, right," I agreed amiably, staring at the sky. "I mean, it doesn't get much worse than Areola, Arkansas -- tiny, noisy room with obnoxious neighbors staying 10-to-a-room, broken wireless, floods, tornados, the only restaurant in town is a McDonald's..."

She smirked. "Pretty upset about that, hm?"

I-70 in west Kansas is flat, and completly, utterly straight. It reminded me of an old Bill Cosby joke that he figured it was ok to go to sleep while driving if the road was going straight, the car was going straight, so what could possibly go wrong? I-70 west makes you believe it. But it does climb -- Denver is a mile up, and by the time we'd passed through the city and started ascending into the Rockies, we checked on her GPS and noticed that we were well over 8,000 feet. On the map, there were three promising campsites on highway 40, past the tiny town of Empire. As we drove, the mountains we passed were wilder and taller, and draped with snow. It slowly dawned on us that, since the ground right next to the road had snow on it, we were going to be in for one cold night. The thermometer on the Suzuki read 39 degrees Fahrenheit, and falling rapidly. This alarmed me somewhat, as I have a 40 degrees minimum sleeping bag; anything below freezing would have been a long, painful night, even before factoring in the icy winds blasting through the passes.

I wasn't quite sure how to mention this. I mean...it should be simple, but Sparky's a tough-as-nails forester, with a remarkable ability to fall asleep in 10 seconds flat, and remain blissfully asleep through anything short of getting hit by a bolt of lightning. I'm not usually prone to stupid displays of machismo, but who wants to think he's a bigger wimp than his girlfriend, right?

Fortunately, she provided a neat exit from my self-imposed doom. "Don't you have a 40 degrees minimum sleeping bag?" she asked, gingerly.

"Um...yes."

"It's 39 out," she pointed out, "and dropping quickly."

"Yeah," I agreed, grinning. "This promises to be a fun night!"

"Why don't we go back and camp at lower altitude? It would be better if you didn't freeze to death."

I congratulated her on having such a wonderful idea, and wholeheartedly agreed. We wheeled the car around, and drove back to Denver. We downloaded directions to a campsite in south Denver over the internet, and, as is our custom, promptly got completely lost.

I frowned, my head swimming from the hundreds of miles we'd driven over the day. "Wait...were we supposed to get on highway 6, or 6th avenue?"

Sparky stared unhappily at my chicken-scratch directions. "I don't know," she grumbled. "My stomach hurts. This campsite is all the way across town. I'm incredibly out of it. Maybe we should just stay at a hotel tonight...?"

I wasn't too hard to convince, so we checked into a Days Inn, conveniently located next to a prison, which evidently has lousy enough security that all the highways are decorated with signs reading "DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS, STATE CORRECTIONAL FACILITY LOCATED NEARBY." In fact, I had a hunch that the scary-looking motel next door might actually be the state correctional facility...

I mentioned this to the desk workers at the Days Inn, who both responded with hearty agreements and slightly-too-amused laughs. Undeterred, we stumbled to our room, exhausted. C'mon...what could possibly go wrong with this plan?

We're not in Kansas anymore...

Actually, that's a lie. We're still in Kansas. But I had to use the one quote about Kansas that I actually know.

I thought since I am awake maybe I would put a little blogination about the epic journey so far. The journey began with a drive across highway 20 through Bama and Mississippi. This is my synopsis of the journey:

- From Dunwoody to Carrollton everything looked like Atlanta.

-From Carrollton to Memphis everything looked exactly the same. Not like Atlanta, but exactly the same. There were various low-grade hardwoods lining the side of the roads (sweetgums and maples, mostly, a few blackgums, sumacs, and sourwoods as well) and some sort of half-alive fescue strewn with weeds. After passing through Birmingham, which was not such a bad looking city, we really didn't pass through much else. Tupelo is in Mississippi. Tupelo is also a southern word for the genus that blackgum is in (Nyssa). For example, you might hear people talking about Swamp Tupelo, and that's a kind of tree. Funny how trees are everywhere! Anyway, Tupelo has something to do with Elvis, I think, because there were many Elvis signs and stuff around there. But the town was kind of non-existent. Past Tupelo is Memphis. I am not sure why many singers like to walk in Memphis with their blue suede shoes, but I wouldn't walk in Memphis; it's kind of scrubby. I mean, I think there are probably more abandoned buildings in Memphis than there were lived in ones. It was kind of sad, actually, seeing all those abandoned places...

But the real epic place was Arkansas. It was dark while we were in Arkansas so we didn't see much of it, except for crossing the Mississippi, and that seemed pretty cool. Port of Memphis seems like a veritable trade center and the port on the Arkansas side didn't at first appear to be much less exciting. There were those huge cranes like I have only seen in Duluth Minnesota and in Charleston-- very cool-- and the really neat suspension bridges with the steel crossbeams. So we got through much of Arkansas before getting really tired and just pulling off some exit; we had no idea what exit it was or where we were but there appeared to be a selection of low-grade motels. When I awoke in the morning it was 4:30 am and the sun was already starting to rise. I was on eastern time so this was the 5:30 am I was used to in my time. I decided to go walk around a bit to see where I could run. I couldn't see much so I just started running down the one and only road that was there. It was a flat, straight, east west road which I later learned was highway 140. The experience was at best surreal. To either side of me appeared to be water as far as the eye could see and in between the streets, water. On the shoulder where I was running were all these toads. I mean, not just one or two toads, but like ten toads per square meter. Enough that I almost worried about stepping on them. As I ran, the toads were jumping off the road in front of me into the water. It seemed kind of like being in one of the Biblical plagues. When I got far enough down the road I came to a town of Osceola, AK. This is, as the sign to the city proclaimed, the home of THE FIRST NASHVILLE COUNTRY STAR whose name was Buddy Jewel. Other than that, there was nothing really in Osceola, AK. I am not sure what that sign meant but I think there is a TV show called nashville country star, and so I guess maybe it's like an American Idol or something?

We awoke in Osceola and G was asleep so I went to the town to find some foods. There was really very little there. Luckily I had with me a loaf of yeast bread baguette, and the top part was not moldy, so I ate that, and some of the great berries from Chinatown, and also a strange kind of cereal bar which was supposed to be Golden Grahams but it was pretty nasty, so I only had a bite or so. In other words, I ate much of the marginally healthy stuff and needed to replenish the epic chubby one with some MCDONALDS. I put this little vignette here to discuss the dialect of those in Osceola.

Me: "I'd like a bacon, egg, cheese biscuit meal and two medium coffees."

McDonalds: "Hrrrmurrrnycurrmrrsyuuuwaneeeenurrrcurrrfeh?"

Me: "Uhm... how much?"

McDonalds: "I say-uhd, hurr murrrny currmurrs yuuu wan eeeen urrr currfeh?"

Me: "Creamers? Uhm, just throw a few in the bag."

McDonalds: "Thuh bay-ugh? Urrrr wan-eyt turr gow?!"

Me: "Yeah, something like that."

They say that in literature you can tell the elite southern from the southern backwoods by the presence of the letter "r." "Elite" southern (cities like Savannah, Charleston) eliminate the "r" altogether. Southern backwoods over emphasize the "r." I offer the above as support to the linguistic arguement.

With the sun up I learned that the great water fields of Osceola were actually not lakes... but flats of bogged over pig doo-doo as far as the eye could see. And with the sun up, the whole place began to smell like it was on the same level as giant fields of pig doo-doo backing in the summer sun. So we quickly booked it out of that joint and headed on up the great highway to St. Louis.

St. Louis, I think, is the first thing that looks different from Atlanta over. It is a really cool town. The buildings are kind of old and brick and there is a huge arch, and the Mississippi River is running through it. There was a cardinals (baseball) game on while we were there so many people were out at brewpubs having classic lunch fair. We went to some really classic little american place with a great, authentic baseball atmosphere. Cardinals game was on a lot of TVs. And they had what was probably an entire head of lettuce in my salad. Excellent, go STL!

After STL we headed west for approximately forever. Missouri is a bigger state than one would think. We finally got through Kansas city, which I think is the second cool 'gateway' to the west. As soon as we passed into Kansas it was BAM! change of landscape. The land begins to roll here; the dirt is black because it is mollisols, and that was hugely exciting to me-- real MOLLISOLS! The best soils! Everything is ridiculously lush.

We planned to stop in Topeka/Google, but we missed it, and instead found ourselves in Junction City, which is where we are now. This place is really neat; just down the road is a classic western town with the old stone construction. There are just these awesome precision ag farms everywhere around here. When I think of ideal farming in my head this is what I picture; it's really neat to see it for real. I like Kansas.

Today's journey will get is into CO, who knows how far. We've got at least 4 days there to explore the rockies and such, so it should be awesome. Then it's north to WY, Montana, and Idaho for a bit before cutting across northern Nevada and into SFO probably around the 15 or 16. We'll chill there a few days and then I'm headed up to Corvallis to move into my new home; AKA drive back and forth to Portland many times buying furniture and trying to figure out how to fit my bed into the subcompact!

Nothing like...

nothing like puking for 17+ hours straight to get you ready for your massive and challenging statistics exam... at least i found some irony.

I want one!

The Icon A5:

Version 2

an email at 5:59 am: "When are you coming into the office today?"

Grrrr. I am 0 for 2 on running for the past few days, which means I am 0 for 2 on productivity. Seriously... is it much to ask that I can come to the office at 8:00 so that I can be productive until 10:30 pm (approximately the time I got the last email yesterday?)

Hmmm.... well, only a few days more.

Eigen-What V. 2.0

Boss: "Can't you just describe what eigenvalues are in one sentence of plain English that anyone could understand?"

uhm....

"Oregonians prove that stress and lack of sleep and early death are linked... in flies"

Okay, that's not the real title. But here's a nice pop-sci article on aging and genetics, which I thought might be fun for .... err... someone with a genetics background who is interested in aging. :D

from: http://oregonstate.edu/ua/ncs/archives/2010/mar/“biological-clock”-could-be-key-better-health-longer-life

“BIOLOGICAL CLOCK” COULD BE A KEY TO BETTER HEALTH, LONGER LIFE
3-1-10
CORVALLIS, Ore. – If you aren’t getting a good, consistent and regular night’s sleep, a new study suggests it could reduce your ability to handle oxidative stress, cause impacts to your health, increase motor and neurological deterioration, speed aging and ultimately cut short your life.
That is, if your “biological clock” genes work the same way as those of a fruit fly. And they probably do.
In research just published in the journal Aging, scientists from Oregon State University outline for the first time how a key gene that helps control circadian rhythms can improve the health of aging fruit flies if it is intact, but can result in significant health impacts, up to and including earlier death, if it is absent.
Of particular interest, the research found, was that young fruit flies without this gene were able to handle some stress, but middle-aged and older flies were not.
“We’re beginning to identify some of the underlying mechanisms that may help explain why organisms age,” said Natraj Krishnan, a research associate in the OSU Department of Zoology. “This study suggests that young individuals may be able to handle certain stresses, but the same insults at an older age cause genetic damage and appear to lead to health problems and earlier death. And it’s linked to biological clocks.”
It’s not completely clear how closely the effects of genetic damage in fruit flies correlate to humans and other animals, Krishnan said, but “the genes themselves, their molecular mechanisms and function is essentially the same, conserved through many millions of years of evolution.” The “period” gene in fruit flies, for instance, is also found and expressed in almost every cell in the human body.
This research examined that gene, which is one of four primary genes that help control the biological clock in many animals – the rhythms that are related to the cycle of day and night, and can be disrupted by anything from inadequate sleep to jet lag or working the swing shift. The study used some normal fruit flies and other mutant flies in which the “period” gene was absent.
The work was done under the leadership of Jadwiga Giebultowicz, an OSU professor of zoology, in collaboration with Dr. Doris Kretzschmar from the Oregon Health and Sciences University. The research was supported by the National Institutes of Health and the Oregon Partnership for Alzheimer’s Research.
In control studies, the mutant flies with no functional “period” gene lived just about as long as normal flies, unless they were stressed. In experiments, researchers caused a mild metabolic stress – an elevated level of reactive oxygen species for 24 hours – to the flies at various times, which corresponded to their youth, middle age and old age. There was no significant change in the young flies. But in middle-age and older flies, significant damage began to occur.
Mutant flies lost some of their motor ability to climb, and morphologic examinations of their brains showed higher levels of neuronal degeneration, similar to neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s disease in humans. When exposed to a single stressful event in “middle age,” the mutant flies had a 12 percent shorter lifespan than normal flies exposed to the same stress. And when exposed to a single stress in old age, their lifespan was 20 percent shorter.
The study concluded that expression of the “period” gene naturally declines with age. If the same is true for humans, that could help explain why people may lose some of their ability to handle oxidative and other stresses at a time of their life when they need it most.
The scientists theorized that the “period” gene is regulating pathways involved in removal of oxidative damage, and those without this function experienced the symptoms of aging more quickly. This could ultimately have impacts on everything from neurological damage to heart disease and cancer.
“What’s worth noting, of course, is that every animal species, unless they are in a protected laboratory, experiences stressful events,” Krishnan said. “That’s part of a normal life. The metabolic challenge we presented to these fruit flies was only a moderate stress. But even so, it appeared to later cause motor and neuronal degeneration and an earlier death in the mutant flies, due to faster buildup of cellular damage.”
Further research will explore ways in which biological clocks might be “re-vitalized.”
“Understanding these mechanisms will help to determine in the future whether strong circadian clocks add water to the fountain of youth,” the researchers wrote in their conclusion.
About the OSU College of Science: As one of the largest academic units at OSU, the College of Science has 14 departments and programs, 13 pre-professional programs, and provides the basic science courses essential to the education of every OSU student. Its faculty are international leaders in scientific research.

Last night

I had a dream about riding a motorcycle. I woke up and I heard rain outside. It was pitch black and I couldn't see my hands. The waking moment was semi-glorious. Then I hit my watch light and realized it was 8:30 am and I was laying on a bed in the basement of my parents' home. I realized how strongly we attach ourselves to locations as an emotional source; I went from being "on top of the world" to wishing that today was actually NEXT Saturday.

:) But in good news, I'm at Borders in Sandy Springs and no one can bother me from my studies. I don't ever run into people here-- it's very nice, secluded, and full of stimulation from books if I get bored with Mahalnobis cluster analysis.

In other news, I had to pay my graduation fee (yes! they make you pay to LEAVE!) yesterday at the Bursar's office; I handed the girl behind the counter a piece of paper that literally had NAME:___________ with my name on it. She asked my name and I told her. She looked at the paper and asked me, "how do you spell that?" I mean-- it's written right there! So then I spell it out for her, thinking that maybe I just made my f's too much like integral signs or something and maybe she felt the urge to integrate "-inger" from "e" to "l"-- but she still spelled it wrong. Did you know that my last name ends in GINGER? Because it does, now.

I am so grateful that soon I will NEVER spell my last name again for anyone!!

Looking good for apartment in Corvallis

*cross fingers* when they receive my app. and deposit in Corvallis this week, I am hoping that I will get the unit I applied for-- it's about 3-4 miles from campus, with a carport, laundry in unit, water/sewer/gas paid, and 1 bedroom + living room. And all for only $515.00. Sure, I'll probably have about 200$ on top of that for inet and natural gas/electric, but it would be nice to have this place. It's near the hospital so I'm hoping that the community is for the most part people interning, etc. Probably I should look for parking or something on campus, eh? <-- kind of wish I could get a motorcycle because that would be much more cheap than a car-- ah well, it's Oregon-- that's probably not at all feasible in the winter with the rains anyway!

It's time to get it right and...

... get it tight!!

Well, I will be leaving this happy land in 9 days now, and it occurred to me tonight as I walked across the quad to deposit my mail that there is one little thing about this place that I will miss.

The hardwoods.

On our quad there are just these incredible old white oaks, willow oaks, and American beeches (I will not bore you with scientific names but suffice it to say that the family Fagaceae makes some awesome trees). I'd say the average DBH out there is about 30 in or so, not including the behemoth willow oak in the parking lot or the legacy bur oak up by the Hendrix. I do love some Douglas-fir (not a true fir!) but there is something about a white oak in the spring, with its big leaves looking like hands, or in the fall, when it turns orange and red and drops smooth acorns, that just makes me really happy that I'm a forester. I am sure that the elf-forest up in OR is a million times this beautiful. But I am sure occasionally I will think about the hardwoods nostalgically.

(on a side note, I may also miss pumping my own gas, but I can always go to California for that... and I have this sneaking suspicion I will spend a good bit of time in Cali, anyway).

Today another student here (a junior male) asked about OSU. He wants to leave the south and try something else out. Apparently the department head is glad that I am heading out of here (note that she is also not from here, although she did undergrad here), and suggested it to him. I was really excited about this... sometimes I think the reason why so many people stay here (can you tell I muse on this subject A LOT?) is that they just don't realize that it's possible to go. I certainly didn't. I am going to do what I can to help stay in contact with this student-- he's active in SAF and CFO, so maybe if I go... and he goes... more students here will see that they can also have the chance to get out of the area and see the rest of the country... world... whatever.

I hope this happens for him... in the meantime, I have SAS to work and papers to grade. Did you know you should discuss the lab in your discussion? Shocker.

Step 8

"how to fix your macbook charger"

Cost of a new Macbook charger: 79.99

Cost of a roll of duct tape (hunter orange): 3.99

Cost of a roll of duct tape you already have from work: 0.00!

Step 1. notice that your macbook charger is not working

Step 2. mess with it to see what the problem is (that the cord must be at a 90 degree angle, in this case, to the power surge protecting square thing, in order to make the battery charge).

Step 3. Find an appropriate splint (1/2 of a plastic spoon)

Step 4. TAPE TAPE TAPE TAPE TAPE

Step 5. Laugh at that sucker who actually spent 79.99 buying the new charger

Step 6. Go eat non-fat cool whip on a coffee with cognac flavored stevia

(step 6 is optional)

Step 7. Fantasize about how you will blog this baby and seem really cool...

blarg.

i was in my cubicle for 24 hours straight. still trying to figure out how to print this damn thing. it's almost not worth the pub.

Found it!

I've been wanting to see the picture of frozen Britain since this winter, and I just randomly stumbled into it here:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/47638000/jpg/_47638207_frozenuknasa.jpg

Which is part of the article, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8615789.stm

Not really sure how I came across that (PROBABLY DUE TO SOME SORT OF MATHEMATICAL FUNCTION THAT MAY BE A POWER LAW!) but hey, thanks, p(find A), finally "gots it!"

Free internet?

I haven't gotten my Comcast switched over to my new apartment, yet mysteriously, when I plug in my modem, I'm connected to the internet. How odd. Maybe this building supplies free internet...?

Tree Physiology FTW!

So I'm trying to find the growth rate for white oak to confirm some stuff, but instead I came across this abstract, which completely goes against the stuff by Bloom about optional nutrient partitioning and marginal technical rate of substitution. In a sense, my mind likens this to the plant having some kind of endocrine problem (although, of course, plants don't have endocrine systems the same way we do-- "hey look, an insulin tree!") I asked Adam, who reminded me that the fundamental components of most enzymes are proteins, and therefore a lack of protein would in turn make a lack of enzymes to allocate carbohydrates to growth processes and instead store them in subsurface storage.

But oh the pain, my WOS does not have access to the article... :(

Optimal partitioning theory revisited: Nonstructural carbohydrates dominate root mass responses to nitrogen

Author(s): Kobe RK (Kobe, Richard K.)¹, Iyer M (Iyer, Meera)¹, Walters MB (Walters, Michael B.)¹

Abstract: Under optimal partitioning theory (OPT), plants preferentially allocate biomass to acquire the resource that Most limits growth. Within this framework, higher root mass under low nutrients is often assumed to reflect an allocation response to build more absorptive surface. However, higher root mass also Could result from increased storage of total nonstructural carbohydrates (TNC) without an increase in non-storage mass or root surface area. To test the relative contributions of TNC and non-storage mass as components of root mass responses to resources, we grew seedlings of seven northern hardwood tree species (black. red, and white oak, Sugar and red maple, American beech, and black cherry) in a factorial light X nitrogen (N) greenhouse experiment. Because root mass is a coarse metric of absorptive surface, We also examined treatment effects on fine-root surface area (FRSA).

Consistent with OPT, total root mass as a proportion of whole-plant mass generally was greater in low vs. high N. However, changes in root mass were influenced by TNC mass in all seven species and were especially strong in the three oak species. In contrast, non-storage mass contributed to increased total root mass under low N in three of the seven species. Root morphology also responded, with higher fine-root surface area (normalized to root mass) under low vs. high N in four species. Although biomass partitioning responses to resources were consistent with OPT, our results challenge file implicit assumption that increases in root mass Under low nutrient levels primarily reflect allocation shifts to build more root surface area. Rather. root responses to low N included increases in: TNC, non-storage mass and fine-root surface area, with increases in TNC being the largest and most consistent of these responses. The greatest TNC accumulation occurred when C was abundant relative to N. Total nonstructural carbohydrates storage could provide seedlings a carbon buffer when respiratory or growth demands are not synchronized with photosynthesis, flexibility in responding to uncertain and fluctuating abiotic and biotic conditions, and increased access to soil resources by providing an energy source for mycorrhizae, decomposers in the rhizosphere, or root uptake of nutrients.

Ever watched a Canadian goose honk?

It's really very strange-- they sort of recoil their necks and bring the honk out of their bellys.

Perhaps the one, single, only reason why I will ever think the Twitter is good

So I was recently looking up some articles online and one of them was by a very common last name "Johnson." Well, I just needed the year, so I figured I'd google it and find the year in the summary and stick it in there rather than dealing with Ingenta and all that. Found the article, but I also guess that my computer knows that I generally look at a good bit of random websites about running and performance, and somehow or another it linked me to an article about an old friend of mine with the same last name who ran the Olympic Marathon trials in 2008. I had kind of "forgotten" about this friend... but she was really one of the most amazing, brave, kind person I have ever met. To not spell out her entire life online, pretty much imagine someone who has received the butt end of the unfair stick on just about every aspect of life, but is absolutely brilliant both academically (graduated with an engineering graduate degree from GA Tech-- gots to be pretty smart!) and physically (really great long distance runner and tenacious as hell). Anyway, so I just googled her for the fun of it-- "I wonder where she is now?" and found of course-- Twitter. It made me very excited to see my old friend is now enrolled at graduate school at a REALLY good school in New England-- I'd assume for a Ph.D.-- and sounding very happy with her running and her work. Yeah, I probably won't send her a message or anything (creepy, yes, I'd say so), but it is just awesome to know she's still around and she's finally getting a lot of happiness for which she has been long overdue.

So maybe, just maybe, Twitter has some merit to it after all.

On a side note, I am eager to be at the Hampton again this week-- thanks to someone really really ridiculously goodlooking! (and awesome)

a raw beet!

In honor of northern europe, I decided for a vegetable today I would consume a beet. After purchasing one, I realized I had no idea what to do with it. I mean, I don't cook... and it's not picked, or in a can, and it's not salad... so what to do? I decided at last to eat the thing raw-- it was actually good in the same way carrots and sweet potatoes are good raw. I have decided that raw root vegetables are very tasty.

That is a random post... but I thought I would put it on here to remember that beets can be eaten raw, in case I ever decide to eat more beets.

--------

on a side note, i also read the Pam Reed book today. maybe I have a girl crush on Pam Reed or something, I don't know, since I read the last article about her I have just been fascinated-- how does she run 300 miles in a row? how does she, 10 days after giving birth, race and WIN a 100 mile race? clearly this woman knows something everyone else does not!

so I read her book and wow, it was inspirational! to summarize it, she basically said, whatever you believe is the upper limit of what you CAN do, you can do two times that. She had some great motivational tips about how to get out the door when you feel like crud, how to enjoy your runs and not let competition get in the way (there is very little "competition" like I associate with running in the ultra world, I guess-- I suppose if you finish 100 miles who really gives a damn how slow you went, right?), etc.

well, I feel inspired now... inspired enough to.. do my statistics homework. but who knows-- maybe I will enter that http://www.hoodtocoast.com/map.php hood to coast run next year-- that sounds pretty fun-- and you get to see mount hood in a "safer" way (no getting lost in snow storms, eh?) hmmm... it would be cool!

Interesting Book I Read Yesterday

So yesterday as I was in borders trying to learn my stats so I can do the homework tomorrow, I read this book called The Lore of Running. It was very cool; a biochemical/ physiological guide to almost everything having to do with running, including real statistics, etc. I mean, it was like a 600 pp. book, so I didn't read the whole thing, but one part that was very interesting to me was the muscle recovery part.

What was fascinating was that the book said that statistics have determined the optimal time for recovery for a run is 24 hours. This was based on repletion of muscle glycogen stores and overall improvement of VO 2 max over an extended period of training. It showed that up to two days (48 hours) between training sessions had no ill effects on the runner in terms of loss of VO 2 max capacity. However, it then discussed deconditioning effect. This was fascinating. Most deconditioning from a fit state occurs between days 2 and 5 off, with greater than 50% deconditioning occuring during this period. After 10 days the body is 75% deconditioned, and it is fully deconditioned after 21 days. The study was done on (I think) semi-elite or elite half-marathon runners, which is a good category of runners to look at (in my non scientific opinion) because half-marathon training is much more "reasonable" than marathon training (no extremely long long-runs +20 miles required, which means that strange effects for glycogen repletion would not occur) and much more steady than 5k or 10k training (where speed training might cause spikes in the VO2 max capacity increases).

I really found this quite fascinating. Also, interestingly, it showed that in the first 10-20 minutes of training, the body uses almost 70% of energy from carbohydrate stores and 25 % from fat stores (5% from protein); up to 1.5 hours of training it is pretty much a 50-50 split (with 5% from protein being fairly consistent), and after 1.5 hours, the glycogen stores have reached their "we're almost out" stage, in which case the fat usage increases. The body stores, apparently, about 1800 kcals of energy in the glycogen. I would imagine smaller people would have less glycogen stores (smaller muscles) and larger people would have more (bigger muscles), but that ultimately the times would be about the same, since smaller people burn less calories (less to move around) and bigger people burn more (more to move around). It has also been shown that the process of carbohydrate loading in the four days preceding a a race can actually increase the capacity of these stores, although I would argue that this will also make you feel bloated, and you'll probably run slower due to bloat annoyance (non scientific opinion FTW).

This, I suppose, is why marathoners almost always take a gel at mile 18... that would be the final use of the glycogen stores (as I would assume most marathoners are more efficient and lighter than standard runners).. and they clearly do not have much fat to back them up, and that would be about 1.5 hours into a race (for the REALLY FAST ONES). Fascinating.

I really am in awe of the deconditioning statistics. Only 2-5 days to lose significant amount of the fitness? Wow. Oh, I should note; when the runners were reconditioned (the study was done over a three month period, I think the author commented "they must have gone insane!"), they reconditioned more quickly than average, so they were fully "decontioned" but "reconditioning" didn't take as long as for someone who had never had past conditioning-- clearly muscle memory or adaptivity was at work somewhere beneath the VO2 max / glygocen access-- so the term "deconditioning" here refers to aerobic capacity and not muscle fitness-- wow, very cool stuff.

Things that are good

Whenever I am in a kind of bad mood and coherent enough to realize it I like to think of small things that are really good; I'm not sure it really does anything other than refocus my energy on positive things, but that in itself is fine for me, and I'll take it.

So here's some really great things to think about.

- TEVA SANDALS: I just got some of these and they are ridiculous. You can hike in them AND they are sandals. It's the best of both worlds.

- LONG RUNS: It is great to be on your feet for a really long time, especially when you look at your watch and it says 1:45:41 and you think, well, I guess I probably should stop, but I'M NOT EVEN TIRED. Ah... gosh, it feels good to run long and not feel tired!

- FIFTY-DEGREE WEATHER: It was 47 this morning!!! YES!!!!!

- COFFEE FROM THE GAS STATION: It's terribly awesome! It's awful... and yet so good.

- COURIER NEW: I love Courier New font. I have been using it for almost everything recently; it's so great! Now when I type a "1" my whole line doesn't scoot over and throw my tables off. Making equity tables has never been more enjoyable (it has never been enjoyable in the first place, though!)

- MINI GRAPH PAPER NOTEBOOK: I ran out of stuff to take notes on while I was in a bookstore, so I had to buy a notebook. Normally I loathe bookstore notebooks because they are stupid looking and wide space, but lo! I found a mini graph paper notebook. Best, it's the 50 scale type graph paper (5 boxes to the inch), which is what we use for forestry stuff, instead of the quad paper that I had before.

- THE LORE OF RUNNING: Some cool book I read while I was here that talks all about the biochemistry of running. According to S, he wrote in my recommendation letter that he decided to like me after he saw me at a book sale, reading "The Biochemistry of Nematodes" (true story). He asked something like "what in the hell are you doing?" and I said, "reading about nematodes; I don't know anything about them, and they infest trees, so I thought I should learn." Didn't think anything of the event myself, but it just goes to show: PICK UP RANDOM BIOCHEM BOOKS YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS WATCHING.

- RUNNING GROUND PINE: Running ground pine just makes me feel like a brontosaurus sometimes, and I like that.

- CABLE YARDING: Watch some Youtubes of that stuff, it's intense. Brave souls, those cable yarders are!

- HANS SOLO: I just feel happy when I think of Hans Solo. No idea where that came from.

Okay, that should bring much positive attitude.

Ridiculous

I have heard the phrase "worrying about where you'll sleep" before and I never thought twice about it. And if I wasn't still putting in 12-14 hour days at the office, I wouldn't. I would just drive til I found a sleeping place, no matter how late, wake up in the morning and put in my run, and then work wirelessly as needed.

But that's not practical right now. I learned today that our printer can only print up to 42 inches by 90 inches dimensions, and after calling copiers all morning I can't find anyone to do the enhancement of the original image for less than about $500.00. We don't have that kind of money around here! So I'm having to remake this poster in Photoshop, which is taking FOREVER, because, well, I'm not that great at photoshop, and the last thing I want to do is put too much in one layer and need to change it and get stuck. So I told S, well, it's going to be next week before I can finish this now, and he said fine, but make sure you bring an article with it. Of course, I've also got to have in my revisions on the thesis by tuesday, but half of them aren't done yet by the revisers, and I've got a stat homework due, and I've got to grade papers, and I'm really behind in stats all together.

So to say the least, I have never had so much crap to do in my whole life, and it's a real hassle wasting tme worrying about where I am going to sleep, or being scared half to death all night because you don't want the Po busting up on you while you're in your car.

I need a plan... or an escape... and it's just not safe for a single female to stay in a sketch tastitic place in GV alone, not to mention it's about a 1.5 hour drive.

I saw a primative site on Lake Oolenay that I may try tonight-- it's about 1.25 hours from here, but it will enable me to get back here tomorrow and pick up the revisers work. If it works out okay, maybe I can stay there some more next week.... also I think I can pull next weekend at the building and probably at least one night at Seneca Creek (a boat ramp around here) although I'm a little scared, as that's the road the stalker followed me onto.

You know, I really love camping when I don't have work. But when I have work, sometimes I just want to go home... not having a home, I have found, tends to make me fairly miserable. When I was in college, this was always a huge issue for me: I didn't feel like I was welcome in my own home, and I noticed, literally, that this would cause a decline in my running. When I started staying with my friends and having a place to go back to, it got much better...

On the verge

I don't know 1/8 of what I would like to know about computers and programming

But the 1/16th or so that I do know tells me that this is hilarious

http://www.ex-parrot.com/pete/upside-down-ternet.html

If I could program and someone was stealing my wifi I would totally do this to them

I am still at my old, loud, tiny apartment

...well after my new landlord assured me I would be able to move into my new one. To this I say:

This should work

The shortest distance may be a straight line, but I've never been one to go for short things.

Everyone's favorite arachnid!

It's the most wonderful time of the year again here... TICK season. I know, because I picked my first tick last week and found another one today! This means: when I am going through g-ville next time, I am getting a running hat.

I figured, I should lay out the wealth of information (not much) that I know about ticks here. I am going to dispel of a few myths re. ticks.

MYTH 1: Ticks are the same as chiggers

Actually, they are NOT. Chiggers are the young lifestages of a type of mites. Ticks are in the ixodediacae family; chiggers are in the trombiculidae family. Both are, though, arachnids. Chiggers, then, attack when they are young; ticks attack in the adult phase. So they are both different species and they attack at different ages. Although S would tell you, ticks can also attack young, although not on purpose. Seed ticks are tick larvae; Straka once had one attack his eyeball!

MYTH 2: All ticks are poisonous

Nope, in fact, no ticks are poisonous. But ticks do carry a bacteria in their gut that can make people very sick with stuff like Lyme disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. Ticks are a vector in the disease chain.

MYTH 3: If you get bit by a tick, you'll get a disease

The odds of you getting a disease are not high actually. First, not all ticks are vectors. Dog ticks, for example, are relatively harmless. Second, for the tick to give you disease, it has to vomit into you. This means that the tick must have been attached for a while, or it must get stressed out enough to vomit. The worst thing you can do when you have a tick on you is to pick at it unsuccessfully. It's better to either remove it properly or wait until someone can remove it for you.

MYTH 4: Ticks can just jump right onto you in the woods

Ticks can't jump. They can only be transmitted through contact. That is why it is rare to get ticks in sparse forest, but easy to get them in high grass, bramble, or clear cuts.

MYTH 5: Ticks only go for exposed skin

Actually, ticks prefer nice niche-y little crevices. Exposed skin allows them to get to these crevices, but when you are checking yourself or crew for ticks it's best to check all the awkward places. They love underwear lines, behind your knees, near your socks, under your hat band, in your hair, etc.

And now.... what to do about a tick!

Here's what you should do if you think you've got a tick.

1. First, find the sucker (literally, haha) and see what it looks like. If it is engorged (bigger than about a pinhead) it's probably been there for a while. Generally speaking, if the tick is silvery-grey like a dime, it's a dog tick, and will be okay; if it is brown or black, that may be a deer tick or a longhorned tick, and those are not okay.

2. Get a pair of tweezers and grasp the tick by the head. It has a large body, but do not grasp that. The head is the best place to grab, as close to the outer mouthparts as you can get.

3. Pull SLOWLY back on the tick. Mouthparts are covered with natural barbs and the tick inserts what I can best describe as "a long nasty tongue" into you; you DON'T WANT THAT TO GET STUCK IT WILL HURT. Pull straight backwards.

4. Do not use alcohol, match, or vasoline to remove the tick. That will stress it out and it will barf.

5. Put the tick in a plastic baggie and hang onto it for at least a few weeks; if you have entymology buddies, get a positive ID on it. You need to know what kind of tick bit you just in case you feel sick.

How to prevent ticks:

1. Wear DEET outside-- that really does help. I know they fall on you and everything, but DEET works. It just does.

2. Always wear a hat if you will be in dense woods. Foresters don't wear the long back hardhats because they look cool-- we wear them because ticks fall down the back of your shirt! (so does rain)

3. tuck in every seam you have-- don't let ticks in your shoes, gloves, etc.

4. Always check your crew when you leave the woods during a tick season. It's embarrassing to be standing there in your skivies, but worthwhile!

5. After you've been bit, apply lots of calamine lotion and do not itch. Why? The "long and nasty tongue" secretes a fluid that gets into the skin around the bite. When you itch, you're spreading that fluid further into more capillaries and only making your problem worse. DO NOT ITCH.

mmmmm archnidae!!

Natural Areas

So last year I wrote a paper for one of my profs about the history of the SAF's natural areas program. It was interesting because no one had really every written about this before, and so for a while we were thinking of publishing it. I talked to one of the professors who worked on it with me today and she said that she still wants to publish it and we're going to try to get it out this summer (maybe in time for Albuquerque). I'll take it! Don't know if it will get pubs big, but even the NAJ is still a little pub, right?

Pollen

Why do trees have to reproduce in such an obnoxious way. Bah! Pollen!

Effective advertising campaigns

Today it is time for a somewhat long-winded discussion of effective advertising. It comes to me as a big surprise that most people in sales and marketing are... well... not very great at sales or marketing. Take, for example, the guy at GNC yesterday. I went in to buy a little bag of protein powder to keep in the office (great for when I just don't have time to get to protein and I know I'll wake up feeling like butt without it!) and the guy comes rushing over to sell me a gold card. I have worked at GNC and let me tell you, that's not at all how you would do that! First, the bag of protein cost like $10.00. The gold card costs $15.00. Never try to sell a GC to someone when it's more expensive than their purchase. Second, someone buying a small item is generally not a "regular" customer. All you have to do to find out if they are a regular is ask something like, "do you like that flavor?" If they say "never tried it" or "I don't know," they are not regular. The gold card sells like a hotcake to regular customers; it's not at all appealing to non-regulars. It just deters them from coming back. Third, this was the worst: guy: "what's your email address." K: "Do I need to give you my email address." Guy: "ONLY IF YOU WANT FREE COUPONS!! AND $5000.00!! OR A CHANCE TO WIN IT!!!" Nope, don't think I want you to have my email address...

Anyway point is-- people and advertisements in sales need to learn to sell. One thing that interests me greatly is advertising campaigns. For example, name that brand:

"Just do it."

"I'm Lovin' it."

"_______: It's What's For Dinner."
"Make _________ Yours."

"15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance"

"Yo quiero ___________!"

*singing* bah dah dah dum (I'll tell you this one, as I can't convey it: Intel)

"What happens in ______ stays in _______"

(FYI that's Nike, McDonalds, Beef, 7-up, Geico, Taco Bell, Intel, and the City of Las Vegas)

Are some of these annoying? Yes. But the fact is, even if those slogans are 10 years old, we still know them. Which means, to an extent, they worked. We have this brand engrained in our minds; it makes it like an old friend. I don't eat McDonalds by choice, but I know their slogan, and I feel apt to discuss them. In the presence of someone who does eat McDonalds, my mention of their nastiness may trigger in another a desire to eat McD's. On the contrary, rarely do I compare nasty food to say, White Castle or Jack in the Box. They are no better than McD's, but their advertising is much less.

Obviously these are big incorporated beacons, and not everyone is going to get this kind of publicity, but I think we can take some lessons from it: A slogan needs to be:

1. Somewhat familiar (the audience needs to at least have a partial relationship with the syntax-- the ever famous exception would be the AFLAK duck)

2. Associated with some kind of imagery whether visual, aural, or olfactory (ex. almost all Atlantans know Tom Shane: The Shane Company, open weeknights til 8, Saturday and Sunday til 5, because of his boring voice)

3. Unique / out there / catchy

So my dad okays advertising campaigns for Scana. And I remember once he was telling me about this new campaign Scana had. You have probably never seen it. And if you did, you wouldn't remember it. The ad is some very stylish suburbanites dancing on a black background and snapping their fingers. The last one to snap makes a "pilot light" and a stove turns on, and it says "Scana: it's a snap." (pilot light because it is a natural gas company.) I remember him joking about how the commercial would go if instead of dancing, the people were farting, and the line was "Scana: we make gas!" To be honest, the second commercial, even if offensive, would probably get a TON more publicity-- it fulfills the above requirements.

Which brings me to why I started thinking about this this evening. I saw an extremely well done advertising campaign for a nonprofit. Most nonprofits either go for the "classy" or "pitty" approach, sometimes with aside of rallying protesters. There are a few exceptions that I really espouse, for example, Susan B. Komen has the breast cancer walk-- it's a great idea-- get people to exercise, raise money, and become more aware of one of the most dangerous health problems for women (and a few unlucky men). The training walks for this usually include survivors who tell women about healthy maintenance as far as regular self-checks and of course proper exercise. It's a great idea. I have worked with the foundation before as a liason for Brooks, and I really liked them. But tonight I was in a publix, and I was checking out, and I saw a can of soda sitting half open on the counter. My first reaction was to grab it to throw it away, but as I turned it around, I saw it had a sign on it that said something like "such and such kid was born in Kenya at a weight of 12 oz. and a length of six inches. That is the same size as this can. March of Dimes." Now, I hate kids, so if that advertisement can actually make ME think twice, it's got to be working.

What I really liked about it was that it was just incredibly straightforward. The slogan: March of Dimes (that's the npo), the uniqueness: it's an object you can touch and link back with the words, and the familiarity, hell, it's a can of coke. I noticed they had these on every check out line, and near the front of the store was a nice discrete area to donate money to the march of dimes if you chose. It didn't jump at you, it wasn't distasteful, the cashier didn't even mention it. So this one goes out to March of Dimes for a very tasteful and effective advertising campaign.

KRISTIN APPROVES.

My first Disapproval!

Today's rating is courtesy of a sign that I saw on my way to check out a campground this morning.

Zumba: KRISTIN DISAPPROVES.

http://www.zumba.com/us/

Disapproval 2 comes to us from the banking system... who, if you are not careful, will roll your happily accruing account into a lower-interest rate account (unless you specify otherwise), where it is trapped at a measly 0.40 % interest for... a YEAR.

Oh, to put it back in the 58 month account again-- which is currently receiving 2.96-- not too shabby given the economy.

To those bank tellers who do the Zumbas:

Whew

Final (or very close-to-final) draft of the manuscript completed, and sent over to the other two authors for editing. It looks like we're submitting to Physical Review Letters, which works for me!

Pam Reed--- fast desert woman!

Today's approval goes out to Pam Reed

http://outside.away.com/outside/bodywork/200510/ultrarunners-1.html

Beds!

Hampton Inn of Clemson:

Seriously, this is the best bed I have slept in in years. It has roughly 10000 layers of blankets. I have a coffee maker! I have a Television! It smells wonderful. I took a shower and I had hot water. I do not have sooty mold in my lungs, and no one is going to kill me!

I am rolling the blinds down and sleeping as late as I can until the defense. Even if I have to cut my run short it will be worth it-- it's not often I get to sleep in a bed, got to make the best of it!!

There are only two options

I learned a new skill today!

I was just talking to a friend here who mentioned that he makes "moonshine"... I will not put the name bc apparently this is illegal. However, I never stopped to consider how fermented alcoholic beverages were made. After combining this with what I have learned from B at OSU about wine-making, I think I know how to create improved, sweeter wine. Do I drink wine? No, not really, although it is really good for the heart and I have often considered having a glass of red once and a while for the benefits of all the heart-healthy antioxidants... but one thing I do like to do is: make stuff and sell it. Because making money via creative enterprise is fun!

So here's my idea. After discussing with my friend, I discovered that to make non-gritty wine you would mash grapes into a cheese cloth. Then you would let a mixture of water and grape juice sit in a nice barrel with your cheesecloth of grape skin floating in there, and every day you turn the cheesecloth as you add sugar. Now, that brings to mind a few questions for me:

How does the sugar dissolve? I am assuming part of the fermentation process allows it to dissolve. In OR they don't use sugar, just very very concentrated grape juice. Which brings me to my next point-- I think this can be done naturally.

The sugar content of dried fruits and over ripe fruits is markedly higher than the sugar content in "straight off the vine fruits." I would guess this is because the drupe is preparing to be released from the plant and needs to best emphasize its means of survival by being eaten by an animal and scarified or just having lots of accessible glucose for the cotelydon to grow. In any case, why not just skip that step and work from raisins? There is obviously such thing as "prune juice"-- I would think raisins, perhaps processed in a food processor, could be "juiced" with other raisins floating within a cheesecloth. Starting with a more concentrated liquid would probably work well. I will maybe experiment with this-- it would be curious to see if it actually increased the sweetness of the process... if it works, who knows, a new consumer product? :)

Images from my computer

Don't be that blogger... who uploads random crap from the computer.

I would never do such an immature and ridiculous thing.

And this is an image straight from my thesis defense for Monday. Yes, truly it is. This displays: why loss-replacement valuation does not work for historic trees!

And this... is also an image from my thesis defense presentation for monday. If I don't pass, Kaan is going to come over from NWN land and drop the some mad blue monk on the committee. He's serious too, man, don't mess with him. I mean, he's blue. Did anyone ever mess with Paul Bunyan's blue Ox, Babe? Or with Zoolander when he was Blue Steel? Of course not. You don't mess with blue.

Fail- a nonparametric distribution?

It occurred to me today that the probability of "fail," specifically regarding "people being fail," is related to the social network. Often I see one or two people being fail, or large groups of people being fail en masse, but rarely do I see a small cocoon of people with, say 3/8 fail and 5/8 approve. In fact, often small groups are the most immune to fail, with only the occasional "kind of fail" persona present who acts completely fail at times and at other times is perfectably acceptable. This has been proposed by researchers as the "Scrub Paradox" and will be mentioned only as it pertains to the greater phenomenon of fail.

Observe two cases that occurred at the same gas station in north georgia.

1. A single old woman comes in and stands directly in front of the coffee machine as she (without proper sanitation napkins on her hands) reaches repeatedly into the donut case, removing 24 donuts extremely slowly. When 2 dozener has finally gotten her fix, and I have gotten my coffee, she proceeds to the check out line, where she pays with a check (at a gas station-- didn't even know that was legal!) and then balances her account and reorganizes her purse, all while I am waiting in line. Then she struggles past with her 2 dozen donuts. <--- FAIL

2. As I exit the gas station I observe a group of approximately 20 urban clad (the urban style apparel, I mean, large chains and shirts with strange symbols, loose pants, etc.) males and about 3 women with very little clothing as well all lean on and loiter about my car, obscuring my safe and unhindered passage towards the door. At least 4 of the men make no shame of looking directly at my booty, even though two are with the ladies already. I am not sure where they came from, but they magically appeared at this gas station to be <---FAIL

I suggest then, that somewhere between say "3" and "15" lies a magic range of social cocoon size where failure is more uncommon. However the failure of a single person, or groups of people > 100 (example: some protesters acting stupid, rap stars birthday parties, bars in downtown Athens) is very common. This suggests a distribution that is... I don't know what you call it, but it looks like an upside-down non parametric with a noncentrality of "2."

Can YOU define a function to fit the probability of fail in single people or large groups? :D

On a side note, what does the rapper Drake mean when he says:

"What am I doin’? What am I doin’?

Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me
I’m doin me
I’m livin’ life right now, maybe"

starting off... "what am I doing?" (you're singing), "what am I doing?" (well, actually rapping)

"oh yeah that's right, I'm doin me" (wait a second, you're WHAT?!?)

"I'm doing me" (I thought you said that but really hoped you didn't. How is that physically possible?)

"I'm living life right now" (congratulations! So are ALL OTHER LIVING BEINGS! You are LIVING life? Who would have thought!)

"Maybe" (or maybe you are an immortal, maybe... I hope not)

Tribble Mill Running Tomorrow!

I've got to go pick up some documents from my dad in ATL tomorrow, and so I've decided to "treat myself" pre-defense to a long run at one of my favorite places, Tribble Mill State Park. I've found actually that the best studying I've gotten done for this defense so far has been just thinking over how to argue stuff or discuss stuff while I am running. Well, if that's what it takes, I'll just do that more. Right now I'm musing on "risk" and "hedonic pricing methods." I also need to review my Faustmann!

Rap... making us all feel smarter one line at a time.

So today I was listening to musical radio, and it was urban-i-fied, since the only stations here are country and rap. Anyway, I heard this ridiculous song called "Tick Tock." The song includes lines like "going to brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack" and "we kick dudes to the curb less they look like Mick Jagger"... I do not understand! Brush your teeth with Jack Daniels? How is that even REMOTELY attractive? Oh, CAVITIES! THEY ARE SO HOTT RIGHT NOW! And Mick Jagger-- really? He's like 75 years old and no females have ever considered him to be attractive. He's a great artist, but really-- Just because Jagger rhymes with "swagger" doesn't mean you have to use it! I mean, you could say "going to get rid of all those dudes, wish I had me a dagger" or "I drank a lot of beer, so I think I will stagger" or "Saw a website that I liked, so I think I will tag'er" or "Then I went to Safeway and I hit on the Bagger." I mean, come now...

That is all.

boo... no timing devices!

Got all the way to the EF and realized, I lost my watch and I can't find my cell phone (probably in the lab, which I can't get to until after 12 because of parking). So it looks like instead of a good run this morning I'm going to be looking for a watch. Ah well, you can't win everything, I guess.

By the way, I HATE April Fool's Day. Nobody better try any trickz on me or I will DESTROY them!