Science for its own sake can be really cool, if you're studying the right things. Aging interests me. Cancer interests me, although to a lesser extent. I love physics for its own sake, and of course I am interested in anything space-related. I am also interested in the medical applications of science. The medical applications are really the only applications of science that interest me.
I joined my current lab with the expectation of working on medically relevant problems, or, failing that, at least to be able to do interesting theoretical, physics-based work. My current research does not fall into this category. I write scripts to assist with genetic circuit design. There's little to no actual physics involved. It's not basic science. It's applied science (engineering, really), with essentially no medical relevance. It's not even novel work, really; I'm applying some neat work that's already been completed and integrating it for larger-scale design work. It bores me to tears.
I'm frustrated. I joined this lab with a fairly specific project in mind, and was encouraged by my future boss that I would be allowed to design and work on this project. After joining, I was curtly denied this opportunity. I don't doubt that his reasons for this denial are good but I suspect he knew of these reasons prior to my agreeing to work with him. I have requested more than once to switch off of my current project, which I find to be both conceptually uninteresting and dull in its implementation, and I have been denied not only the chance to switch projects, but indeed to have any real creative input even into the implementation of this current project. My boss pays lip service to the idea that I should have my own interests and area of expertise, but in practice, what he wants is not independent thought, but a diligent servant to carry out exactly what he wants done.
Also, my boss is an asshole. There's no polite way to put this, really. He's charming enough when he cares to be, and he's a sharp guy, no question, but when it comes down to it, he's a fucking jerk. He also has invested essentially nothing in me, so far. I'm funded by my program until the end of May (I think it's May), so he's really got no basis for complaint if I left.
I am seriously considering leaving the lab. I'm meeting up with my boss this week, and am going to lay this out in so many words, as politely and firmly as I can. I have a few ideas for projects that I'd be willing to work on, that are somewhat related to work currently taking place in his lab, but I have the sinking feeling that he is just going to point-blank refuse again. And then...well, it's not an idle threat. I'll threaten to leave if he won't work to accomodate me, and I'll follow through on the spot if he doesn't.
